Sunday, March 14, 2010

For the Love of Sneezing

I spent the day yesterday sneezing. Most of the time I love to lie. There is so much energy and power pent up in my nose that when the sneeze comes forth...ahhh (*sigh of relief*)... And, for me, the bigger and longer the wind-up for the sneeze the better. It’s just such a great release - I absolutely love it. But, when I spend most of my day sneezing, my joy in it diminishes.

I lost track of the number of times I sneezed yesterday; it just seemed to never stop. I don’t have allergies, so with this continual convulsion of my body, I knew something else was swelling within me and that I would soon be popping cold and sinus pills and going through a box of tissues a day. Joy. So, clearly, I was thrilled last night when my head slammed into the wall of congestion and headache. Figuratively, of course.

Don't worry, there is a redeeming factor in this story, and it can best be explained in simply writing out the conversation that occurred in my head last night as I laid in bed fighting for air:

“Of course, this would be the one time a year I get sick. Travis goes on vacation and trusts me to cover teaching the junior high students the next two Sundays and the Wednesday in between. Why, Lord, would you choose this week to give me a cold?”
“Because Travis is out of town and you will be teaching the junior high students the next two Sundays and the Wednesday in between.”
“Oooohhh...that makes sense. Wow, thank you, LORD, for this cold!” And, with this I rolled over with laughter that I’m surprised didn’t wake my husband.

You see, it’s not that I don’t rely on God for strength, but sometimes I rely on my own strength too much. I completely believe that God has allowed this cold to come upon me at exactly this time because He wanted to remind me of my weakness. He wanted to remind me that I can’t do this on my own, that I am fully and utterly dependent on Him. He wanted to remind me that I NEED Him, that I cannot do ministry without Him, and that He can work powerfully through my time of weakness.

In this time I think about the Apostle Paul. When he had a thorn in his flesh he said this:

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

I can honestly say that I am actually happy to have this cold right now. I feel like God is speaking directly to my heart through it, and I find such joy in that.

1 comment:

  1. Jackie, I hope you are feeling better after your cold! What a bummer, and yet, you're right...forced dependence is sometimes an easier road to take! I know Travis was very grateful and confident to leave the teaching opportunities in your hands. Thank you for being faithful to the Lord and the students! We are so blessed to have you (and Nathan) as ministry partners...Feel better!